Celebrating pregnancy and work

I very nearly titled this article "managing pregnancy and work" and then I thought, actually let's celebrate this time because, frankly, it really is the stuff of superheroes. If you are currently pregnant, congratulations, regardless of whether this is your first pregnancy or not, what comes next can be enormously overwhelming in so many ways and when you're balancing those feelings with work it can be a real minefield to navigate. Are you the manager or employer of a pregnant person and have no idea how to approach this time? It's important to get this right for so many reasons, so keep reading.

In this article I'll share some of the practical tips I've found helpful for both pregnant people and their employers.

So where do you even start with negotiating your pregnancy and your job? This is hopefully a really exciting time for you and a life event which will make you really happy. Firstly, balancing work and growing an entire human is really hard so I absolutely wanted to call that out. Whether you're about to embark on that journey or you've completed it in the past....you are amazing!

When I found out I was pregnant I immediately had a million thoughts buzzing around my head. When would I tell people? When would I start mat leave? What would I do if I was sick? As someone who is a chronic overthinker it was probably the most overwhelming time of my life. On top of the mental strain there are the physical symptoms, many of which you're trying to hide from friends, family, colleagues and bosses if you find out about the pregnancy early on. I had no idea what to do and while some days I loved being in the little bubble of just me and my growing baby, on others I felt completely alone and isolated.

I started to do my research. I looked through posts from women on social media about their experiences, I joined parenting apps with an anonymous profile in case someone I knew was on there, and wow were my eyes opened to this whole new world.

I was greeted with post after post after post from women terrified to tell their employers, or sharing stories of how badly they had been treated since they did. As a people professional I have of course sadly come across tales of pregnancy discrimination in the past, but I was naïve to the fact it was quite so prevalent. I found myself replying to women online giving them advice, pointing them to ACAS, simply telling them that their employers were completely in the wrong. It was terrifying! Thankfully I had a feeling of comfort I wouldn't be impacted like this, and I wasn't, thanks to the amazing team I work with, but as I sit here a year on from finding out I was pregnant I felt it was time to share what I've learned!

So if you're still with me, here are my top tips...

So you're pregnant and working what do you need to consider?

When and how you will tell your employer

Ultimately you must tell your employer about the pregnancy "at least 15 weeks before the beginning of the week the baby is due" or as soon as possible if you've been unable to do so before then. Realistically, in my experience, as early as you feel comfortable is the right time. Many people don't wish to discuss their pregnancy with anyone before that first NHS scan but if, like I did, you find out very early on - that 12-13 weeks can feel a very, very long time. Think about whether you can discuss with your direct manager or HR representative confidentially first. They should support you in those early days especially when your pregnancy symptoms can be all over the place!

Note to employers: The early part of pregnancy can be a really scary time, providing a safe space for open communication will go far with your employee and will help you identify any potential future issues that you may need to deal with.

If and how your work will be impacted

Depending on the job you do there may be health and safety measures needed to support you through pregnancy. Another reason to tell your employer as early is possible is so you can work together to complete a pregnancy risk assessment. This should be done regardless of whether you work in an office, off site or at home and takes into consideration anything that may be impacted by your pregnancy. This might include manual tasks, how often you travel and even your working patterns. Your employer should make reasonable adjustments to any aspect of your work where needed as a result of the risk assessment and even if you complete this early on and there are no issues highlighted, you can ask for it to be revisited if something arises later on in the pregnancy.

Note to employers: Don't put the risk assessment task off! Not talking about the potential issues doesn't make them go away and if you try to avoid making reasonable adjustments you are opening yourself up to the pitfalls of pregnancy discrimination. Managers, people teams and the employee should work together to ensure everyone feels comfortable.

What are your rights and responsibilities?

There are tonnes of things to think about during your pregnancy and probably one of the most important is the time off you are entitled to, and how you will be paid! If you don't already have an understanding of your organisation's policy around parental leave then get to know it! If you can't locate this ask your manager or people team. If you are embarking on this journey with a partner, it's also important to review the same at their organisation. They may be entitled to different benefits which will help you plan time off. More and more couples are looking into shared parental leave as traditional gender and family roles change. I have first hand experience of this as me and my partner are splitting the leave we take from work almost 50/50 and is a really important conversation to have as early as possible.

Note to employers: Don't assume your employee knows exactly what their rights and responsibilities are. Help them by signposting resources from that first conversation and equally, ensure you as their support network know exactly what's expected of you too. In many discrimination cases, the employer believed they'd done enough or weren't aware of their responsibilities so get smart on this detail - and have managers work with HR and People teams, not against them.

What happens if things don't go to plan?

Pregnancy can be enormously complicated. There are a myriad of things that can go wrong or make it a difficult time for the person who is pregnant. I don't say this to scare you, but looking after your physical health, mental health and the health of your unborn child is a huge task at times and in many ways can be out of your control. Hopefully you can speak to your employer openly about how your symptoms are affecting you or any complications you may have. Remember, you are entitled by law to paid time off for antenatal care and that doesn't just mean your scan appointments but covers anything recommended by your doctor, nurse or midwife. This could include things like additional physiotherapy or even relaxation classes!

Sadly, not all pregnancies result in a healthy baby being brought into the world and we should never shy away from discussions about this. Check your organisations policies around miscarriage and if you don't have one discuss with your manager or people team. Asking what happens if the worst happens isn't tempting fate, it's just allowing you to be prepared at what would be an incredibly difficult time.

Note to employers: When did you last review your policies around pregnancy and miscarriage? Do you have support documented so people understand what they can access? You may not feel it is possible to provide a time frame, and ultimately who can say what's the right amount of days to take off from work if a pregnancy is not going to plan? Simply outlining that you are there to support however you can and signposting contacts and resources can sometimes provide your team with the reassurance they need and allow them to open the conversation.

What if someone you know tells you they're pregnant?

Maybe you're not the pregnant person or the employer. Maybe your friend or colleague has told you they're pregnant and you're wondering how you can help or what to consider. As with so many situations, what you can do to help will vary from person to person. Some people may ask you to help them out, others might want to but won't feel comfortable asking and plenty will not feel they need any help at all. The key for me is don't assume. Don't assume you know what someone is feeling. I felt lucky to have a great team of people around me who let me tell them what I needed, and supported me in that. For example, I was comfortable travelling, driving and working until fairly late in my pregnancy. I always planned to work up to almost 38 weeks unless something prevented me and I had great support in doing so. (I also had my baby 3 days into mat leave but that's another story for another day!!) Keep communication lines open, show empathy and remember to treat the person with respect and kindness, it's a really, really WILD time!

Working while pregnant can be a breeze for some people and a nightmare for others. If you are going through it right now my advice is to take all the support you can get and be open about how you're affected. If you feel your employer is not supporting your needs, ACAS can be a great resource for unbiased advice. If you are the employer, manager or colleague of someone who's pregnant right now make sure you know what's legally expected of you but also just be kind! There are quite literally hundreds of things that could be impacting someone both physically and mentally and believe me, they will thank you for your support.